In Her Words: April Bravely Shares Her Recovery Journey at 27th Benefit Party & Show
Every year, at our annual Benefit Party & Show, an Epiphany graduate bravely tells her story of addiction and path to recovery through Epiphany programs. This gives the graduate an opportunity to share openly about her experience - an important tool for sustained recovery - as well as gives event attendees a first-hand account of how their support changes lives. This year, April, a current resident of Epiphany Step-Down Housing, bravely stood in front of guests to tell her story. We invite you all to read her powerful remarks below - an incredible testament to the impact and importance of the generous support we receive for Epiphany's life-saving services.
April and her son Koah.
“My name is April. I am a recovering addict. I have two boys. I love my boys so much and they are the reason I survived as well as the Epiphany Center, who also saved my life. I lost my parental rights to my first son in 2016. I do believe that he will be in my life again soon. I am fighting for my second son, Koah Saint James, who is in my life today.
I started using drugs and experimenting with alcohol at age 14. I don’t know why I started. Maybe it was that my family started to fall apart or maybe it was when my grandpa passed away or both, but things just didn’t feel “happy” anymore.
Throughout my early teenage years my mother was in a deep depression and stayed in her room most of the time, so we barely saw her. My siblings and I thought this meant that we could do whatever we wanted, we were out of control. If only I knew what self-discipline was back then as I do now what a difference my life would be.
“My siblings and I thought this meant that we could do whatever we wanted, we were out of control. If only I knew what self-discipline was back then as I do now what a difference my life would be.”
I left home at 14, I couldn't handle the constant fighting and negative energy that would happen day to day. I moved in with my new best friend who I learned a lot from…but also I was easily influenced. While at a boyfriend’s house, drugs were introduced, and I tried them for the first time. Crystal Methamphetamines were the first drug I ever tried. I snorted it and it scared me but the long-term effects of it kept me up all night, made me feel invincible and euphoric. This feeling would last all day, and even longer …until I'd come down. I couldn't believe how out of control I was at this age. I couldn't stop using because I would get really weak and angry when coming down. Also, I would never eat. My life just spiraled.
I continued using Meth until I was 16 and was then introduced to OxyContin and hypodermic needles. I knew people who knew doctors and drug dealers who could get me prescriptions. When the OxyContin got taken off the shelf, I couldn’t handle the withdrawals. The next drug I got my hands on was Heroin. This was my rock bottom.
As I turned 18, I caught up with the law and I struggled for several years with the law until I went to my first recovery program. I got pregnant with my first child Christopher at 25. I wanted so badly to understand my problem and to be a mom to my son. Up until 2020, I served so much time on and off again at the Marin County Jail. When I finished my sentence and got off probation, I was told by an officer that if I didn't want to get harassed I'd be better off moving counties. So, I did.
“ If I did not have the Epiphany staff guiding me and supporting my every move through the birth of my son and my recovery, I would not have made it. I would not be here.”
I moved to San Francisco with nowhere to go and no plan. I ran away from all the people and all the issues I had and somehow I managed to survive. I had been homeless for over 8 years. San Francisco offered me more resources. I have been enrolled in the Methadone Maintenance Program which has kept me off drugs. I came from living in a tent in North Point, and staying in abandoned buildings while 6 months pregnant to living in a 3-story home here at Epiphany Center. I knew I had to do something and something fast before it was too late, I wasn’t going to lose my baby.
San Francisco General connected me to Epiphany Center and I remember surrendering right there. At Epiphany, I was taken care of throughout my pregnancy by the best people I have ever met. Epiphany staff were sympathetic and caring to the needs of my son who was in the ICU for the first month of his life. I was devastated, but I did not let this knock me down. The staff at Epiphany made sure that I still had a spot and that this would not be a barrier to my recovery. They wanted me to succeed, and still do!
I’ve worked so hard and have been in reunification with my 15-month-old son. If I did not have the Epiphany staff guiding me and supporting my every move through the birth of my son and my recovery, I would not have made it. I would not be here.
Completing a program was the most amazing feeling. Walking into Epiphany Step-Down, I knew I’d love it. The House Manager Lisa was someone I warmed up to quickly and the women in the house were all my sisters. Today as I sit at Epiphany Step-Down, I thank God I am sober. Waking up to Lisa every day is the motivation that I needed for so long …listening to her words in my head over and over again is like music to my ears. She says, “Just keep your eyes on that prize April, Keep your eyes on that prize!” All my worries, all my weaknesses have been tested and Lisa has guided me away from that and to my son.
“Life is and will continue to get better with every day I wake up here. I am 11 months clean, and I have no reservations. I did this.”
All my hard work is paying off. I’m on unsupervised visits with my son. My son Koah and I are working closely with Tracy Weber at Epiphany in Dyadic therapy. Tracy has been my strength and support along this road. My son is to be placed with me in April of this year! I have received a certificate for a Job Training Program through Episcopal Services and plan on taking classes at San Francisco City College to become a successful case manager, to help people just like me who have come from nothing but could always amount to something. I have 6 months left at Epiphany Step-Down and have secured permanent supportive housing through Compass Family Services and am currently waiting for an apartment offer. Life is and will continue to get better with every day I wake up here. I am 11 months clean, and I have no reservations. I did this. Epiphany helped me through.
Thank you for making all this possible for me and for so many women before me, for those currently in residence, and those to come. We are all so grateful! THANK YOU!”
-April
Epiphany Center Client
Would you like to support clients like April? A donation - no matter the size - can help change lives.